Sunday, February 27, 2011

Who said it was 9 months?

OK--I want to know who said pregnancy was 9 months--because if you do the math---

40 weeks is actually about 10 months---SO that makes it really strange when you tell people you are 7 months prego, but still have 3 months left. They look at you a little strange.

Someone told me it is because the first two weeks kind of don't count and the last two weeks kind of don't count so you end up with 9 months. I think that is stupid logic.

Anyway--I am about to enter my 7th month and this kid is still beating me up pretty good. I just want to video tape my belly one of these days doing all sorts of stranges movements. It really is weird. It is hard to have a converstations sometime when the kid is trying to push his way out of your belly button (which hurts), or hic-uping so hard your body is literally jumping!

anyway--nothing overly profound--just another little annoying/fun/strange/wonderful thing in the wonderful world of pregnancy!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

one week

starting on Friday life has been yucky!

Friday we got a puppy. We knew we were getting it so it wasn't a big surprise, we just didn't know for sure when it would come and live with us.

So Friday we went and got our puppy and came home for a few hours before my mom came in from Denver!

Then the "fun" started. Both girls woke up Saturday not feeling well so we took a trip to the clinic to find out if they had strep (which is going around). All three of us were tested and both girls came back positive, but not me. Sedona also had a major cold.

After doing some things in Alamosa, by the time we got to Sanford I was feeling pretty crummy too.

The girls started medicine and I laid around the rest of the time.

My mom, who loves to clean, cleaned my kitchen--the fridge and even under my sink.

Yeerah our exchange student said "I can't believe you are her daughter" --lets just say the love for cleaning is NOT genetic nor was it passed down to me!

So mom stayed the weekend while the rest of us laid around and tried to get better. By Sunday I had lost my sense of smell and taste and almost a week later I can taste somethings--and my sense of smell is coming back. The puppy is not as cute when you can smell that doggy smell!

I have lost weight this week (I know--very bad for a prego lady), but that is because any and all desire to cook or eat is gone. I forced myself to eat this week, which is strange for me...but maybe it cured me of my nightly quasadilla habit! My kids are loving it. Since i have haven't had a ton of energy the nightly beggings for Ramen or Mac n cheese has been met---but this week life is a little brighter so a healthier and happier diet is on the menu---right after tonights ice cream!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

More like guidelines...

Hello Blog world.

In the movie Pirates of the Caribbean--Captain Barbossa says "And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call guidelines..." when talking about the Pirate Code.
Anyway, if you don't remember that part-watch the movie again. I have seen it many times and find something new and funny each time.

SO...what does that have to do with me? OK, the Life Dare has become more like a guideline than a rule for me.

In fact--shhh--don't tell anyone, but I skipped today. I knew I wasn't going to see Lucas, which I did, but I feel like I have been doing super good so I didn't read today's--don't worry I will start again tomorrow.

The other day Lucas was really grumpy because our house isn't square (build well), so it was really hard for him to deal with putting in the shower for our bathroom (which he did and it looks good, but still needs the water hooked up)--so I went in and calmly asked him if I could help in anyway. He said no, then I started to ask some other questions (mostly what did he want to eat before going on the truck that night) and he got frustrated and told me he couldn't think about that stuff. Instantly I was hurt and mad. But I walked away and thought about a time when I was so frustrated with something how would i have reacted. Truth be told, I would have done the same thing (actually REALLY truth be told, I would have given up on the shower hours before Lucas did and never finished it, instead of working on it until it was done).
So I cut him some slack. I didn't bother him again and I (took a nap) did my own thing.

Then again he called today and was upset because of our bank account--He had asked me along time ago to tell him if I spent any money out of the business account. I haven't been very good at telling him when I have, and he was upset. Normally I would feel hurt and try to defend my actions with stubbornness--but instead I knew I was in the wrong so I apologized. I didn't try to make myself out to be right, because I wasn't.

Since the Love/Life Dare started those are the first times I have had to deal with a conflict in our marriage. I have been able to defuse situations by letting go of my pride, anger, and selfishness, and will continue to do so. I have really tried to put Lucas's needs first as much as I can--sometimes it is not possible to drop everything I am doing to go take him dinner--but I try. I figure he has sacrificed so much of his time, talents, mind power, energy, and enjoyment to earn a living for our family and so I can enjoy an amazing and easy life, that he deserves to be treated really well.

So while I feel like I have excelled at that portion of our life, the other parts are not so hot! Overall the house is more organized and stays cleaner (except the kitchen!--ugg!). The spiritual/physical is not so gung-ho right now. I had a friend make the comment when I first published my Life Dare exercise to not over extend myself--he suggested I focus more on one thing--and that is what I have done. Maybe in about 29 more days I will focus on the spiritual/physical side instead of the marital/house side. and then flip flop it again after those 40 days and just keep going.

As for now I will continue to read my Life Dare daily and focus on doing what I can.

PS: almost the whole time I have been writing this Wheeler (my baby in tummy) has had the hiccups. such a fun/strange feeling.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

blog design--

Some days I can change my blog design no problem--other days, like today it won't let me

what is the problem?

I have deleted the link to this winter background, but it still shows up?

Anyone know what i am doing wrong?


So this 40 day thing is awesome--but I am not following it.

I know strange how this is working out.

I am picking and choosing each day what I want to do and then doing it. However I am doing the Love Dare almost 100% and it helps.

One reason it helps is not only because it is focused on making a more Christ like marriage, but because it helps me focus on doing things that have been bringing me down.

For example many of the days it tells me to do something that will make your spouse feel your love. -- So I clean the house, which in turn makes me feel much more calm and happy. Today in fact before even reading what the love dare "to do" item was--I had already done it! It is great.

Plus the biggest lesson I am learning is giving love without expecting anything in return, and learning to see the things he does as things he does to show me he loves me.
Does that make sense?
For example, today he trimmed the apple trees. In the past I would have thought.
"Great--Does he expect me to make applesauce, apply pie filling and dried apples with the apples we will get? He knows I hate picking apples and dealing with worms and half eaten apples--and cleaning them up off the grown--that is just what I need another thing to do this fall!"
But until I sat down I didn't think any of those things...I only thought.

"That tree looks much better. I hope Lucas enjoyed that and I hope that gave him a break from the boring repetition of what his life is. Now maybe we will get a few more apples that I can reach instead of watching all the apples at the top of the tree get eaten by the birds!"

I am reading a book right now written for a Mormon couple, but ANY and ALL couples would benefit from it. It is called "For All Eternity" By Dr. John Lund. (Spelling?)
I am also reading another book—including “Making peace with yourself" and "The Freedom from Depression Workbook." I am not depressed, but this book helps me not go there. It helps me keep things in perspective and know what I need to work on.

If you are struggling with your marriage--I suggest "The Love Dare" and "For all Eternity"--overall happiness I suggest the other two.

Since my dad passed away I haven't been able to read books that were more than simple story lines--and I gave up almost all my Self-help books, but these ones have been helping a lot.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Life Dare

I am going pretty easy on myself when I don't do this Life Dare to the extent that I would like. I normally would be totally beating myself up because I am not 100% on it, but maybe that is one thing I needed to learn was that maybe my expections on myself and all others is too high.

+It doesn't matter if my kids don't have their shoes on with in 1 minute of me telling them to get their shoes on--(which was an issue today, which I didn't handle well
+If Lucas doesn't choose the movie I want to see (because I didn't tell him which one I wanted), I am letting it go, because I am learning that most of the time he will choose the movie I want to see if I tell him.
+If I don't do everything on my list for my life dare for that day, I let it go. I do what is most important and let the other things slide.

a million things like that happen everyday. I often find myself yelling at my kids because they aren't acting the way I want them to act, but they are acting like the way they should and they way THEY want to act. I am learning to settle down and ask ... "if my kids aren't in the car right now--what is the worst that will happen? We will be late. OK..but isn't my peace of mind by not yelling at my kids worth more than 2 minutes of playtime at the start of school? Don't they deserve to have a mom who isn't yelling at them every morning? How would my day go if Lucas started the day by yelling at me like that?"
I am learning to look at the big picture.

I will try to post more of what I am doing each day of this LIFE DARE with in the next few days...

Monday I help Lois with family history and normally find some motivation in cleaning my house on Monday---
Tuesday--all morning I have doctors appointments! It will be the big day!! Blue or Pink will be decided!! (lets just all pray it isn't blue AND pink---twins would not be a good thing for me!)

I will write again Tuesday!

blessed life

I just read a friends blog--he kids are all sick and her husband is an intern as a doctor so he is gone all hours of the day and night...and I just think how blessed I am. We have our own issues, but Lucas being gone for days at a time, but really my life is wonderful. I have food in my fridge that will go bad before I can eat it all. I have water, hot and cold, at the turn of a switch. I have LOTS of clean clothes to choose from every morning. I have a big beautiful house that is super warm and that is just hte start of the list. I have mentally and physically healthy happy children. I have a husband who I love, who I know wants what is best for his family and is willing to work so we can enjoy a comfortable life. I think everyday why was I so blessed to be born into the family I was -- at the time I was -- in the country that is full of opportunities. I get bogged down on daily mundain routine, but then I think--I am glad I have a sink full of dishes and I am not worried about what to feed the kids tomorrow. I am glad I have 4 more loads of laundry....literally the list could go on and day I will make a thankful list again. I love nights when things are put into perspective again.

Today in Relief Society the lesson was somewhat on Journal writting. I was thinking--I blog--doesn't that count? I think that is a yes/no answer. For one thing I try to tell things how they are and not just the good stuff...I hope everyone knows that my life is far from perfect (but most likely closer to perfect than I think it is), but I don't share really personal things (nor will I) and I write knowing that people will read this. I need to write more for me. I need to get things out on paper that I am struggling with and dealing with. Things that maybe in the black of the ink on the white of the paper, will become more black and white for me in my life. My personal handwritten journal goes from major event to major event and very little inbetween...I need to work on that. Also I type about 100 times faster than I write so I think--I will type my journal, but then I never print it out--and I think handwriting is so important. SO I think I will do a "multi-media" journal. I will type most of my journal AND PRINT IT OUT, but then I will add some handwritten pieces in it also...
How do you find is your most successful way to journal?

"You will be happy--you just won't know it."
This was in a line from a movie I watched the other day. The movie had some great lines (but overall the movie was a waste of time). This was my favorite---I feel like I am in this state of mind. If I ever gave up my life I wouldn't find a way to be as happy as I am now, but I just don't see it clearly all the time.

Sedona tonight started crying while laying in bed..
"Sedona are you sad?"
"What is wrong?"
"I just love you so much mom!"
How does that not melt your heart!! I love my girls. They are a totally blessing in my life. Yeerah told us that she didn't want kids---maybe 2% of her wanted kids, but after living with us she wants kids 10% now.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Day one and two

I am NOT sure why--but parts of this post showed up in red and some in black/purplish--there is no reason for it to be like that--nor does it have any special meaning--so sorry!
AND--I have learned that it is much easier to type your blog in another word program and then paste it on here--Also these posts are kind of long, but they are also doubling as my journal (I keep all the really good stuff in another handwritten journal--sorry) :)---now on to the real post.

The first thing I have learned while doing this life dare is...

that when Lucas is home it helps me accomplish one part, but hinders the other parts.

Of course the marriage part is much easier to accomplish when he is around, but the housekeeping part is a little harder. I am not sure why when Lucas is home I am less motivated to do the housework. strange.

Anyway--here is just a few notes I have from day one first

Day One

From the whole Love Dare section--this is the part I if it doesn't seem to flow easlily, it is because I stole bits and pieces through out the whole thing.

Love Dare:We are born with a lifelong thirst for love. Our hearts desperately need it like our lungs need oxygen. Love is built on two pillars that best define what it is. Those pillars are patience and kindness. When you choose to be patient, you respond in a positive way to a negative situation. You are slow to anger. Rather than being restless and demanding, love helps you settle down. Anger almost never makes things better. In fact, it usually generates additional problems. But patience stops problems in their tracks. It is a choice to control your emotions rather than allowing your emotions to control you, Patience is where love meets wisdom Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. Few of us do patience very well, and none of us do it naturally.
For the next day, resolve to demonstrate
patience and to say nothing negative
to your spouse at all.
If the temptation
choose not to say anything.

Personal Dare
Get up ontime and Shower--get all the way ready for the day first thing.

Spiritual Dare
Pray both morning and night

House (This is from Flylady)
Shine your sink.

Well first day---

I didn't shower--mock me if you want, but I don't shower daily--I shower about 4 times a week, and one of those times is on Sunday morning (or Saturday night), so I didn't feel the need Monday to shower (if I did something that got me dirty enough to shower daily I would). So I didn't shower and I didn't do anything special with my hair or make-up so I feel like I kind of failed at this one-

I did pray both morning and night and even a little though out the day, but not the on my knees type of prayer I desired--so I will keep working on it.

I did get most of the dishes done and the kitchen a little cleaned up--which to me is better than shining my sink.

Day Two

Love Dare
(again--this is just the parts I highlighted! Let me tell you this was something I needed to hear!)
Kindness is love in action. kindness is how love acts to maximize a positive circumstance.
Patience avoids a problem; kindness creates a blessing. One is preventive, the other proactive.

Even if you need to say hard things, you’ll bend over backwards to make your rebuke or challenge as easy to hear as possible. You speak the truth in love.

Being kind means you meet the needs of the moment. If it’s housework, you get busy. A listening ear? You give it. Kindness graces a wife with the ability to serve her husband without worrying about her rights. Kindness makes a husband curious to discover what his wife needs, then motivates him to be the one who steps up and ensures those needs are met—even if his are put on hold.

Rather than complaining and making excuses, you look for reasons to compromise and accommodate.

Initiative. Kindness thinks ahead, then takes the first step. It doesn’t sit around waiting to be prompted or coerced before getting off the couch. The kind husband or wife will be the one who greets first, smiles first, serves first, and forgives first. They don’t require the other to get his or her act together before showing love. When acting from kindness, you see the need, then make your move. First.

Do you wait to be asked, or do you take the initiative to help? Don’t wait for your spouse to be kind first.

It is difficult to demonstrate love when you feel little to no motivation. But love in its truest sense is not based on feelings. Rather, love determines to show thoughtful actions even when there seems to be no reward. You will never learn to love until you learn to demonstrate kindness.


Floss and brush teeth REALLY well--


Pray and Read scriptures for at least 10 minutes


FLy Lady again---But she is just helping my goal from yesterday

Get Dressed---down to your shoes.

Self Evaluation

Love Dare---I did ok on this, I think I could have done better, but I can always keep trying. I hope this one gets easier.


Spiritual--Didn't read scriptures this morning (but I did make Lucas breakfast--my excuse, but not a good one--I had time to do both--so I will quit lying to myself. I am reading scriptures as soon as I am done here.

Home---didn't do so well---Girls didn't have school this morning so I slept in--but then I did get dressed, but that hair and make-up thing is hard for me! Gotta keep working on it!


The first two days were not successful--I can make a list of reasons why, but they are all excuses (ok, here are some of them--Lucas was home for two nights, and I am not normally that lucky to have him home two nights in a row, the girls had a snow day, Sedona had a doctors appointment yesterday, it has been colder these last few days than all of winter so far, Sedona is sick, I have an infected finger, I watched my nieces and nephew today, I have gone to Alamosa way more than normal this week, and papers dealing with getting our taxes together are still everywhere--we are self employeed so it isn't like we take a W2 form in and we are done--we have to know each month what we spent and where we spent it --have it documented with recipes and bank statements and all that joy!) Fine it is out of my system--tomorrow is a no excuse day.


By the end of the first week (actually 10 days)---I will have build on the love dare each day--trying to keep building on the lesson the day before--

House, personal, and spiritual--They will have somethings that will last all 40 days--such as getting up at a normal time and getting dressed, keeping up with my kitchen daily, and praying and reading scriptures daily--that sort of thing.


So I have been thinking---I wonder if it would help me the next day by reading a day ahead, or if I should keep doing what I am doing and read it first thing in the morning? I am not sure, this week I think I will read in the morning and next week change to the night before and see which one works better.
Anyway--it is almost bedtime so have a lovely night!