So I recently rented "Fireproof" again from the video store.
This time when I watched it I wasn't thinking "Oh I hope Lucas heard that" or "See Lucas should know that is how I feel." I am SO THANKFUL that Lucas and I don't have some of the struggles that the couple in the movie had, but we did have a few of them.
So this time, by request of a friend, she said I should watch it again...and look for ME in both people. Wow--different movie when you are pointing the finger inward and not outward.
So after the movie I looked online and found the Love Dare.
So starting Monday I am taking a LIFE DARE.
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I will tie the two subjects together in a minute...
I found my "brain book" from a few years back and when I compared it to this years brain book---guess what---same stuff. I am dealing with the same challenges, my TO DO lists are almost the exact same...8 out of the 10 things in my "to do in each room" were the same...if not more.
SO Why do I let years go by and let the stress of the sames things eat away at me day and day, week and week, and literally year after year. Habits? lazy? pride? All of the above and more?
so seeing that 3 year old brain book and looking at my "new" brain book --and not seeing much change in my life -- I knew I had to do something.
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In the movie "Fireproof" the husband is trying to win back his wife so they don't divorce. He will feel like a failure if they divorce, not necessarily because he totally is in love with her at the start. (At least that is what I got out of it.)
So his father gives him a book---in the book he is to do something everyday for 40 days. Somethings need to be daily---only speak kind words--
while other things only once in a while---do something nice unexpectedly for her (or in my case him)
Anyway---by the end of the movie (of course) the husband and wife found a new respect for each other and their marriage is on the way to be healed.
SO...
why not do a LIFE DARE.
I have 5 area's I want to work on: Not in order of importance!
1. Marital (I am taking the love dare and just do that--with some items tweeked for a truckers wife)
2. House (I looked up Fly Lady and took her first 21 days and made them work for me--the last half will be focused on house projects that have been on my to-do list for years.)
3. Personal/Physical (What I can do to be a better person)
4. Parental (I am taking the ideas from the Love dare and adapting them to work for children.)
5. Spiritual (This will overlap some of the other things I will be doing.)
So each day (some items will be weekly), I will have a new habit to incorporate in my life.
BUT in order to do that. I have to look at my schedule and see what needs to go by the wayside. I am thinking Facebook FOR SURE!! The computer is my BIGGEST time waster. I am like the husband, without the porno addiction, but none the less most of my spare time I can be found at the computer.
so for 40 days I am also giving up "useless" computer. I will check my email and work with my blog. I won't spend 25 minutes looking up a stew recipe, when the first one I looked up in 2 minutes worked great (that happened last Saturday).
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I was going to post my day to day Life Dare habits on here, but I think that would be a breech of some sort of copy right laws---so I will report as often as I can on the progress---for good or bad.
If you would like to join me--for the next 40 days change habits that drive you crazy about your life! Order the Love Dare online--Look up Flylady and follow her routine---do SOMETHING in the next 40 days to make life better for you, your loved ones, and your life.
The rest of this week will be spent.
1. Getting my Life Dare Book in order (Brain Book with new title)
2. Finishing up my taxes
Between those two things and daily life---I am going to be busy!
See you Monday, if not before!
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2 comments:
I found your blog very inspiring, Amy. I applaud your willingness for introspection and your eagerness for change. Pace yourself, though...40 new habits in 40 days! Maybe I didn't understand the premise of the movie or your practical interpretation of it. If it were me I would probably focus on one of those spheres at a time, especially if I was trying to form new, positive habits...but if you're following the movie's guidelines, which I haven't seen and know nothing about beyond this blog post, I hope it works well for you. I just hope you aren't too hard on yourself if some of your goals are less successful than others. If you're finding it to be too much I would pick out the most important habit and try to focus on establishing one at a time.
A great example from my own life that I'm working on now is the habit of writing every day; it's something I used to do but when things went haywire (after my injury) it dropped off and I've never managed to ramp it back up. That needs to be my one goal for the day: if I had several goals for establishing new habits, it would be too easy to justify putting some off because I stuck to whichever new habits were easiest. Been there, done that.
But! I don't know the specifics here...on that note I'm pretty sure you can give your opinion on examples without breaking copyright laws; they aren't going to come getcha or anything ;) Even if the movies' owner was bothered, they'd send you a C&D, not an indictment.
I have an excellent book on independent motivation and habit-forming. It's called Self-Directed Behavior: Self-Modification for Personal Adjustment, by David Watson and Roland Tharp. I took a class in tandem with the text but I believe the book holds up well enough on its own...actually I know it does, as I rarely even showed up to that class, aced it anyway and I still use the book all the time. ;p I highly recommend it; the latest edition is expensive but since it's a textbook you can track down older editions for as little as a dime + s&h. I'd be happy to let you borrow my own copy if you agree to get it back to me within a few months...it is one of my most indispensable books. But you seem like the trustworthy type!
Continued below...of course. :P Hey you said you like comments!
(continued from above)
Ah,Facebook. If life is a toilet and the water is time...guess what the handle is. ;) It's not just FB though; there are all sorts of bear traps on the internet waiting to ensnare hours and hours of your time. For example, blog comment threads...hmmmm....
A few years back I was hopelessly addicted to a message board...I can't even bear to confess to how much time I spent on a daily basis just floating from topic to topic, but it was a LOT. I decided to drop it for Lent, kind of without even giving it any thought...and, lo and behold, when Easter rolled around I had kicked the habit. I didn't check it *at all* for almost a year and even now I rarely check in.
I think it's particularly important to do a self-check on these sorts of activities in the age of information, more so than at any other point in human history. That may sound overdramatic, and maybe it is, but pummeling our lives into the dirt with redundant cycles of easy distractions is one of the unique challenges of our time.
I guess it beats running from bears.
Anyway...why not keep a Bible next to your computer? Whenever you feel tempted by bad habits, it might be helpful - and comforting - to turn to sacred text. Furthermore, were I you I would completely cut myself off. If there's stuff you have to post for family and friends, such as notification of this blog, get your husband or another trusted individual to manage your FB account for you. Just send whatever you need to post to them and commit to not even typing in the url until your abstaining period has come to an end. It's just sooooo easy for "just one minute" to become "just two minutes," ya know?
Keep it up Amy! I really enjoyed your post and I wish you the best of luck with all this. :)
-Matt Goodwin
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