More like guidelines...

Hello Blog world.

In the movie Pirates of the Caribbean--Captain Barbossa says "And thirdly, the code is more what you'd call guidelines..." when talking about the Pirate Code.
Anyway, if you don't remember that part-watch the movie again. I have seen it many times and find something new and funny each time.

SO...what does that have to do with me? OK, the Life Dare has become more like a guideline than a rule for me.

In fact--shhh--don't tell anyone, but I skipped today. I knew I wasn't going to see Lucas, which I did, but I feel like I have been doing super good so I didn't read today's--don't worry I will start again tomorrow.

The other day Lucas was really grumpy because our house isn't square (build well), so it was really hard for him to deal with putting in the shower for our bathroom (which he did and it looks good, but still needs the water hooked up)--so I went in and calmly asked him if I could help in anyway. He said no, then I started to ask some other questions (mostly what did he want to eat before going on the truck that night) and he got frustrated and told me he couldn't think about that stuff. Instantly I was hurt and mad. But I walked away and thought about a time when I was so frustrated with something how would i have reacted. Truth be told, I would have done the same thing (actually REALLY truth be told, I would have given up on the shower hours before Lucas did and never finished it, instead of working on it until it was done).
So I cut him some slack. I didn't bother him again and I (took a nap) did my own thing.

Then again he called today and was upset because of our bank account--He had asked me along time ago to tell him if I spent any money out of the business account. I haven't been very good at telling him when I have, and he was upset. Normally I would feel hurt and try to defend my actions with stubbornness--but instead I knew I was in the wrong so I apologized. I didn't try to make myself out to be right, because I wasn't.

Since the Love/Life Dare started those are the first times I have had to deal with a conflict in our marriage. I have been able to defuse situations by letting go of my pride, anger, and selfishness, and will continue to do so. I have really tried to put Lucas's needs first as much as I can--sometimes it is not possible to drop everything I am doing to go take him dinner--but I try. I figure he has sacrificed so much of his time, talents, mind power, energy, and enjoyment to earn a living for our family and so I can enjoy an amazing and easy life, that he deserves to be treated really well.

So while I feel like I have excelled at that portion of our life, the other parts are not so hot! Overall the house is more organized and stays cleaner (except the kitchen!--ugg!). The spiritual/physical is not so gung-ho right now. I had a friend make the comment when I first published my Life Dare exercise to not over extend myself--he suggested I focus more on one thing--and that is what I have done. Maybe in about 29 more days I will focus on the spiritual/physical side instead of the marital/house side. and then flip flop it again after those 40 days and just keep going.

As for now I will continue to read my Life Dare daily and focus on doing what I can.

PS: almost the whole time I have been writing this Wheeler (my baby in tummy) has had the hiccups. such a fun/strange feeling.