My biggest fear...

I have many fears--

bears
failure
death
Husband or Kids dying

BUT MY BIGGEST FEAR...

the end of the world. I know I am strange, but It FREAKS ME OUT!!

I bought a book from Heaven Sake (an LDS store) about a women who died and comes alive again. Thinking this book was like others and would leave me feeling uplifted about the love Christ has for each of us--I soon found IT WAS NOT!

in this book--she is shown the end of the world and HER role in it. Which means--if this is true--the end of the world is coming in her life time. I am really hoping that she is old or has already died--that sounds heartless, but if that has happened then maybe this book is just all lies!

But in this book she describes life--not the happy when Christ is on earth, but the HORRIBLE scary conditions before that time. I keep thinking that how much worse can the world get before we can enjoy the 2nd coming--in her story--A lot worse. Major diese (in her town over 30% pass away alone from this disease)---famine---it will not stop raining so nothing grows---a invasion from a forein land which takes over all---corrupt new that reports lies over the radio to keep the moral up of the nation. No gas for cars---people scared to help each other for fear of illness. The only ones who have food are the ones with food storage. Finally even in their small town they have to flee the invators by going to the mountains--and they eventually use handcarts to flee to Zion.

I know this is silly to get so scared over this, but I image two small girls, a husband who is gone (the one thing that gave me hope was that her husband - a truck driver - was at home with her at the time since all truckers went on strike months before the troubles started because of fear of spreading the disease--not that is truckers on strike is good, but maybe that means Lucas will be home with me and not stranded someone in New Mexico), and me trying to fend for ourselves in a horrible world. I have NO survival skills. BUT this book has scared me so bad I have a great desire to learn!

I might even start looking into making a handcart. Laugh if you want--but didn't everyone laugh at Noah?

I have already started looking up--living off the wilderness--websites.

here are some good things I haven't thought of....(Plus they almost all say that living in the wilderness alone is very difficult, but in a group it is more manageable)

Other than your normal food storage items---include
1. How to purify water (natural methods--or how to identify clean water sources)
2. How to start fire with out matches
3. How to use a weapon (bow and arrow & Fishing Pole)
4. How to make a Bow
5. How to make Arrows
6. How to make Hooks
7. How to make a fishing pole
8. How to build a Shelter--tent/tipi with local materials
9. Local plants that are edible
10. How to make clothes--bring thread, needles and lots of them. (Plan on three light layers for everyone so you can layer or take off--according to weather)
11. Know places in your area you can flee to that are secluded
12. Compass--and how to use one
13. Radio with Batteries (or solar/hand power)
14. Sleeping Bags
15. Flashlights
16. Extra clothing—light clothes that can be layered—two set of clothes
17. Canvas tarp
18. High energy food
19. Lighters (MANY)
20. Garbage bags
21. Bear Pepper Spray
22. Good shoes -- (i know one family whose winter coats and hiking shoes are considered like Food Storage--by the best--you never know when that is what you will use!)
23. Backpack (one large to carry everything and a few small--to take on day excursions-if hunting and such)
24. State/Area map
25. Scriptures (especially the book of Revelation)
26. Book on surviving off the land
29. Stocking Cap and Ski Mask for each person
30. Mittens/heavy socks for every person
31. Light weight Axe
32. Superglue--great of closing open wounds-other 1st aid and is a great sealer.
33. This last one is adult oriented---be warned. I had a friend in high school whose mom (along with other basic supplies) stock piled condoms and tampons---she said "I know I will be able to trade these for other things I need"--someone else said chocolate would be a good trading tool.

I hear people say they are stock piling money/gold/stamps/and so on, but in my opinion, if the last days are anything like what I image--money, gold, and stamps won't be worth much! everything will be on the barter and trade system--so do YOU have a skill that is worth $$? Sewing, leather working, veterinarian skills, and so on?

Some of the list are repeats from the standard--but I would like to add--

Start backpacking with those backpacks on. After ONE day of hiking Sedona around on my back up to a mountain lake my hip joints didn't work so well. Lucas had to pack all our food and supplies and I ONLY had Sedona--image hiking with all of your supplies on your back and possibly toting a child (or two) by carring them!

OK--now that i am officially scared out of my mind--I am going to start living a normal life and focusing on the here and now!

Got a lot to get done today!